LONDON > AFTERNOON TEA
1. Afternoon tea at Goring hotel
We like this visual: while we are standing uncomfortably outside Buckingham Palace hoping to catch a glimpse of the Queen, her majesty is having Afternoon Tea next door at The Goring. Afterall, there are tea specials named in her honor.
2. Afternoon tea at Corinthia
When seated in the lap of luxury, in the lap of London, you’re advised to sit tight and there’s no better activity than Afternoon Tea to keep you planted.
3. The Orangery in Kensington Palace
If you take the rule of three seriously, expect a sublime. Afternoon Tea experience at The Orangery. Embedded in the Kensington Gardens, the airy, bright (ceiling to floor windowed), pavilion is the ideal stage for you to live out your Hyacinth Bucket fantasies.
4. The Orangery at the Fan Museum
If dainty pastries make you question (like you would question the meaning of life) whether or not it’s ethical to eat them then go for the rustic cakes at The Fan Museum.
5. Afternoon tea at Lord’s Cricket Ground, St John’s Wood
Are the typically “British” situations you endeavour to have letting you down? Take it up a “notch” with scones at Lord’s Cricket Ground. You’ll be in company of never-before-heard accents and many a quizzical chortle.
6. Tipsy Tea at Mr Foggs
They claim drunkenness impairs vision. Well, we think there’s a sweet spot for inebriation, and that sweet spot lies between your second glass of champagne and eyeful of vibrantly coloured scones that line your tea set’s upper tiers.
7. Betty Blythe Vintage Tea Room, Brook Green
One evening, playing parlour games as they did in the 20s, Betty Blythe was told by an inner circle acquaintance that if one were to resemble her to any type of restaurant it’d be a patisserie. Approaching a century later we can say that was spot on.
8. Fortnum & Mason, Piccadilly
Can food have confidence? The human characteristic can definitely be seen in the eclairs, battenbergs, and macarons at F&M. Placed on iconic baby blue rimmed tea sets, the strength of the colour combination reassure us that this is a winning presentation before even tasting it.
9. The Magazine restaurant at the Serpentine Sackler Gallery
A list of common ingredients with fancy names (it’s so much more fancy when you have to struggle to pronounce it) and “Cornish” clotted cream (which side of the Devon vs Cornwall clotted cream war are you on?)
10. Afternoon tea at OXO Tower
“Would you care to join me for Not Afternoon Tea”. You might want to come up with a better way of phrasing that so as not to leave your partner-in-tea-crime perplexed. There are four variations of Afternoon Tea, each paired with a cocktail to match the tea set.
12. Afternoon tea at Pembroke Lodge
Imagine you’re the countess who once lived here and you shared crumpets with Lewis Carroll who, inturn, was so inspired he came up with the tea party in Alice in Wonderland. Walk the rose garden afterwards, but don’t pick any or else “off with your head!” (12 minutes)
13. The Ivy Kensington Brasserie
As you sit in the understory, savouring “just scones” or the full shebang, look to the origami butterflies darted gracefully across the ceiling canopy.
14. Afternoon tea at Sketch
When your egg mayo is made of quail’s eggs you had better lick those fingers (as d̶i̶s̶c̶r̶e̶t̶e̶l̶y̶ expressively as possible to show the humorous team at sketch your enjoyment).